Difficult times call for radical measures. The UK economy is is Covid-19 sparked freefall. Something needs to be done. Easy stuff.
In no particular order, here are ten highly effective, proven strategies for increasing GDP:
- Spark a crime wave
- Sink fully-laden oil-tankers off the coast (other environmental disasters will also work)
- Create the conditions for household disharmony in order to increase divorce rates
- Encourage eating of fast-food every day (especially if it can be delivered)
- Encourage rioting
- Stop building or maintaining flood defenses
- ‘Break your neighbour’s arm’ (thanks, Umair Haque)
- Encourage bad driving in order to increase traffic accidents
- Construct more out-of-town shops and other things that increase inconvenience
- Encourage more social media rage and hardening of echo chambers
GDP, of course, is merely a measure of total national expenditure (or income). It doesn’t discriminate between expenditure we might enjoy (eating better) and that which we’d prefer to avoid (having to buy big new padlocks).
Better yet, to be serious for a second, why not use this unique opportunity in global history to acknowledge that GDP is an utterly irrelevant measure of economic success. Well, irrelevant to everyone apart from the greedy bastard 1%.
There have been several attempts to produce more sensible measures of a nation’s success. They all seem to get bogged down in the vested interests of the already rich. The 1% don’t want ‘Genuine Progress Indicators’ or ‘National Happiness’ indexes. They want more money in their bank account in the easiest, lowest effort manner possible.
Now is the time to find win-win solutions. I don’t mind the 1% making more money, I just don’t think they should be allowed to do it by making life worse for everyone else any more. All we need to do is introduce a system where all the things like this Top Ten get counted as the negatives they are.